Do’s and Don’ts for Parents During the College Search
The college search process can feel like a rollercoaster ride for both parents and high school students. It's an exciting, yet stressful, time that will shape your son or daughter’s future. As a parent, it's common to feel the weight of helping your child navigate this crucial decision.
To help you on this journey, here are some key do’s and don’ts for parents during the college search process. These tips will help you strike the right balance between providing guidance and giving your child the independence they need to make a decision.
Do’s
1. Be a supportive sounding board.
Your role is to listen and offer advice when asked, knowing it’s essential to let your child lead the decision-making process. Create a calm environment for open discussions, where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns. Respect their unique perspective and remember that this is ultimately their journey.
2. Help research college options.
With thousands of colleges to choose from, it can be difficult for students to know where to start. Help them narrow down their options by focusing on key factors such as size, academic programs, location, campus culture, and faith emphasis (if that’s important to your child). Together, look at websites, visit campuses and encourage your child to explore schools that meet their academic, social and extracurricular interests.
The college search website Niche is a great resource to help you find colleges that check the boxes on your student’s college wish list. If you’re looking for a Christian college with strong faith and standout academics, be sure to check out Northwestern College.
3. Foster open communication.
Maintaining open communication throughout the search is key. Let your child know that you’re there to talk—whether they’re feeling overwhelmed, excited or uncertain. Regular check-ins can help you stay in the loop about their thoughts and progress while giving them the space to process things in their own time.
4. Set a realistic budget.
College tuition can be a big investment, so it’s important to have a clear understanding of what’s feasible from a financial standpoint. Have an honest discussion about your family’s budget as well as the need for financial aid, scholarships and/or student loans. This helps your child make decisions that are financially responsible while also exploring schools that offer the features they want. Keep in mind that the “sticker price” in most cases will be reduced by scholarships from the college, and you’ll want to compare the bottom line before your student makes a final decision.
At Northwestern College, 100% of students receive financial aid. In fact, we guarantee that your student, if accepted, will receive at least $15,000 in scholarships and grants upon enrollment. For more information on Northwestern’s affordable Christian education, visit nwciowa.edu/financial-aid.
5. Respect your child’s independence and preferences.
It’s important to remember that your child is growing into an adult, and this is a big decision for their future. Respect their wishes, even if they differ from your expectations. Whether it’s about the size of the school, its location, or its academic programs, support your child in finding a college that’s a good fit for them.
Don’ts
1. Don’t overwhelm your child with too much information.
The vast amount of information about colleges can be overwhelming. As a parent, it’s tempting to bombard your child with lists of schools, rankings and brochures. Instead of pushing your child in a dozen different directions, try to help them focus on schools that align with their goals and interests.
2. Don’t push your alma mater (or your own preferences) too hard.
While it’s natural to want your child to attend the same school you did, avoid imposing your own preferences. Just because your alma mater might have been the perfect fit for you doesn’t mean it will be right for your child. Let your child explore options that feel right for them, rather than feeling pressured to follow in your footsteps.
3. Don’t make it about you.
It’s easy to focus on your desires during the college search—how proud you’ll be, what your friends will think, or which school looks the best on paper. But the decision should center around your child’s needs and aspirations, not your own. Keep the focus on their future and not yours.
4. Don’t micromanage the process.
It’s important that your child takes ownership of the search. While it’s OK to ask questions of your own or offer your student reminders, avoid taking over the process. Allow your child to fill out forms, write their essays and meet deadlines. It’s an opportunity for them to build independence and learn valuable life skills.
5. Don’t make decisions for them.
Ultimately, the choice of where to attend college should be made by your child, not by you. While you can provide valuable perspective and logistical support, it’s important that your child makes the final decision. This is a significant moment in their life, and they need to feel ownership over it.
The college search is a journey of growth and discovery—for both parents and students. By following these do’s and don’ts, you can help your child find a college that fits their needs and empowers their future. The most important thing is that they feel confident in their choice, knowing you’ve been there to support them every step of the way.
Northwestern College, Iowa’s Standout Christian College, is a place your student can belong and be equipped for life. At Northwestern, your child will have a standout academic experience in a community where they’ll be known and valued. Learn more at nwciowa.edu.
