My son and daughter seem to continually find something to argue about. They know just how to push each other's buttons. As a mom, it can be exhausting trying to use every argument and fight as a teachable moment and faith-building opportunity for my kids. Recently, after a particularly loud disagreement with some pretty flavorful word, I took my daughter aside and reminded her that her brother was a gift to her from God and she needed to love him. Her response was, "Love him?! I don't even LIKE him right now!!!"
How often don't we as educators feel the same way? "Lord, I know you have placed this child in my classroom for a specific reason and I know you want me to love him... but right now, I don't even like him!" In moments like this, we need to learn to separate the behavior from the child. The most important part of dealing with children with challenging behaviors is RELATIONSHIP. Developing a caring connection with the child will build a secure attachment and a positive relationship. The old saying is true, “They don’t care what you know until they know you care.”
When dealing with challenging behaviors in young children, there are several steps we as educators can take.
- Define the Behavior – What exactly does it look like? Is it a tantrum? Kicking? Hitting? Biting? Withdrawal? Screaming? Crying? Try to focus on changing one behavior at a time.
- Consider Risk Factors – This includes biological and environmental factors. Were there complications at the child’s birth? Substance abuse during pregnancy? Neurological problems? Poverty? Exposure to violence? Trauma?
- ABC – Antecedent, Behavior, Consequence – What is happening before, during, and after the behavior? Is something triggering it? When is the behavior most frequently occurring? What is the “payoff” the child receives… attention, escape, or sensory stimulation?
- Prevention – How can I adjust the physical environment, the routine, or my teaching strategies to make our day more predictable and help the child feel safe? Are there choices I can give that will give the child a sense of having some control?
Understanding and addressing challenging behaviors in young children is a constant struggle. As followers of Christ, we are called to love one another and show grace. As you begin the week with yet another "to do list" that keeps getting longer, let me remind you of God's "to do list" and encourage you with these words from Micah 6:8 "What does the Lord require of you? To ACT JUSTLY, to LOVE MERCY, and to WALK HUMBLY with your God."
Heidi is an instructor in Education at Northwestern College and the director of the online Bachelor's in Early Childhood program. To learn more about the online programs visit the Master of Education or Bachelor's in Early Childhood pages. For more resources and training about trauma in students, take a look at the NWC Trauma Informed Conference.
This week is American Education Week and we have much to celebrate! We celebrate educators who are working hard to meet all levels of student need. You can multi-task to create rigorous curriculum opportunities as well as plan empowering social-emotional learning activities. The care you have for students drives positive relationships. You realize that students come from all different circumstances, and every student needs someone who believes in him. You are TEACHers! If you agree, do you feel like celebrating or do you sometimes feel like you are losing steam? You may sense that teaching is always changing, and you feel swept up in an unfamiliar dynamic.
Balancing curriculum and social-emotional learning
This is unfamiliar territory for many teachers as we are not used to teaching social-emotional skills. We all agree though, that it is essential and even fun to do so. Why the worry and why the resistance? Because change is difficult, albeit inevitable. Our resistance is not so much about the assumption that social-emotional learning is a vital new component of teaching than it is about our own feelings. Thankfully, we can change the way we feel. We need to realize that our role is a helper role. When we help learners, we are fulfilling our destiny. Be happy, grateful and thankful that we are exactly where God wants us to be at this precise moment.
Building positive relationships
Certainly, 100% of teachers would agree that positive relationships are key, but many students who need us most are the most difficult to reach. This requires a teacher mindset that is willing to reflect and change. Change is difficult, and people resist it. If you are using a student’s bad behavior as the reason you cannot develop a positive relationship with him, then you are only seeing the behavior, not the student.
We cannot develop a relationship with a behavior; we can only develop a relationship with a person.
Do you know what that student likes or is passionate about? If you don’t know, then you haven’t yet begun the work of developing a positive relationship with him or her. Give yourself and your student some time, and cultivate the relationship just like a seed in a flower pot.
Students come from all different circumstances
Every student needs someone who believes in him. This is a call is worth celebrating! God has put us in charge of carrying this out for our students. Of course, it may be difficult to believe in a kid who doesn’t believe in himself, but this is our greatest calling and it is our highest honor.
Teachers do have a lot on their plates, it’s true. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by an ever-increasing variety of challenges. But we also have an excellent sense of what we need to do, how we need to do it and why we need to do it. We have an important mission for every student in our care.
Remember - we have the brains, power and creativity to succeed!
All too often, we face life looking forward or looking backward. We forget about the moment that we are in.
I remember as a new mom, looking forward to having my children develop and grow because I was excited to see them enter the next phase or leave that ugly phase of something like teething or potty training! What I often had to tell myself is to just enjoy the moment that is right in front of you today. I had so many people tell me that it would go by fast and that I would want those days back. Guess what? They were right. Now that I have one in college, two in high school, and one in elementary, I find myself thinking about how quickly life has changed and that it went by way too fast!
I have found that as I grow older, that I need to find joy in each day and enjoy the moments that are right in front of me. It’s not always easy; because let’s face it, some days are just not worth repeating! However, remember that God has a purpose for trials and joys we face. It’s not always clear at the time, but we are learning and growing in our faith.
I lost my mother-in-law and three grandparents all within a span of two years. Each one of them had a special place in my heart and always took the time to enjoy the people that they were with each day. They had a wonderful way of listening and being focused on the conversation with those around them. Too often our schedules and technology distract us. Perhaps we could learn how to seek out time like this? After all, how do you want to be remembered? As someone who was always appears stressed and on a tight schedule or as someone who took the time to enjoy the people around them?
Whether you are looking forward to a vacation, being done with classes, or even the end of this day; take the time to reflect and find the blessings and joy you encountered today. It might have been a smile from a student or patient, a phone call from a friend, or a hug from your child or spouse. Treasure those moments and thank God that it was part of your day. The more you seek out these moments, the more joy fills your heart and you will soon find yourself filled with blessings each day.
Rejoice in each day of life - and choose joy.
I am a behavior intervention specialist/special education co-teacher at an elementary school and teach Master of Education Special Education courses at Northwestern College. Throughout my years of working with different students, I’ve been able to help many students, teachers, and parents better understand learning behaviors and ways to promote healthy and positive responses for learning. As you read this email I received from a cooperating counselor, you may be able to connect the situation to one of your own student’s behavior.
Good Afternoon Dr. Kyle,
My name is Ms. A.; I'm John’s (fictitious names) counselor at B. Middle School. John’s mom indicated that you found a way to positively motivate John. His behavior is "OK" at this point. We conferenced with mom last week and she suggested that we communicate with you about strategies that you utilized that helped John succeed. Our biggest concern is that he is NOT working in his classes. He is beginning to resist by crying and being incredibly negative. He's a wonderful young man, with a beautiful smile and we want to help him feel successful. Your help would be greatly appreciated.
This was my response:
One of the most important things to do for John is to build a cooperative relationship with him - he will not participate at all unless he feels some kind of positive connection. He loves to be called on and noticed for his verbal contributions, and he is exceptionally well-spoken with a great vocabulary. His accommodations should include numerous ways to allow him to participate verbally, and speak into a voice-to-text type of machine or app. He will be able to participate very meaningfully because he is very bright, however this won't look like the normal, 'sit-and-get' strategy that teachers probably expect. I would begin by making sure that John is in co-teaching classrooms with flexible, creative teachers who are willing to think out of the box. Just sending John out of the gen ed. classroom to do the very same thing with the sped teacher is not an option.
Because John is smart and well-spoken, but impatient, he will have trouble relating to peers unless these peer-to-peer collaborative support relationships are structured by the teacher for success. If teachers assign John to a para or sped teacher, this could easily develop into a very non-productive, co-dependent relationship. When paired with one or two cooperative peers, John can be the “Materials Master” who checks to see if things are in order for the group. He can be the “Calculator Leader” in his group to check the math problems when the group has completed their task. He can be the “Praise Person” and reward his team with a Tic-Tac mint every time the team completes a step in the process of the lesson or the assignment. This helps him focus on the lesson, and it helps his team members keep him on task because they want that mint or reward!
"We need to structure the lesson so that he will be able to participate and feel successful. Right now, he feels inept and he knows that school is not the place where he feels smart or capable."
John is like most kids in that he loves to be a teacher-helper; he loves positive teacher attention. He used to sit at the computer and point to things that the teachers were discussing by moving the mouse around the screen to emphasize the part of the page she was discussing. He can manipulate pieces of a story and he can do math by dictating what the steps of the problem are. He can explain how things are done to another peer. There are lots of ways that he can show what he knows other than traditional work, so check with the specialist (the sped co-teacher) and plan to make tweaks in the lesson so that John can explain his thinking.
Basically, we need to structure the lesson so that he will be able to participate and feel successful. Right now, he feels inept and he knows that school is not the place where he feels smart or capable. Rather than get into a struggling match to make John fit into our mold of what we think middle school "work" should look like, we need to help him feel smart and capable by creating learning experiences that are structured to allow him to participate and show what he knows. As he grows in positive experiences, he will become stronger and more resilient.
Our classrooms and students are constantly changing. It's important to continue our education in behavioral strategies and trends for the many different situations that can be presented. As teachers, our ultimate goal is to inspire and encourage each of our students and prepare them for their bright futures. For more information about ways to broaden your educator skills, see the online Master of Education and endorsement programs.
I have worked with adult learners for over twenty years. During my time as an instructor, mentor and advisor, I’ve found the importance for adult learners to remember that it is not always possible to do everything. The below list is meant to lighten your day and to help keep an open perspective that you are not alone. We acknowledge that balancing a job, your family and now your studies, is not easy and that you can give yourself permission not to get all items on your to-do list done.
5 Things That You May Not Get Done On Your To-Do List
- Cleaning your closets. Many of you clean your closets once or twice a year or refer to spring cleaning as a national holiday. Be prepared - you may not get your closet cleaned this year. Remember the rule that your children may have used on you, “as long as I can shut the closet door, it is clean.” Yes, we all want clean and organized closets, but it can wait until you have that research paper handed in by 11:59 pm on Sunday night or a break between the terms.
- Laundry. Many of you may be like me, it is a rarity if I do not do at least one load of clothes a day. A family of 6 seems to create a load of towels daily. You can lower your standards and do a load of laundry on days that your posts or responses are not due. On the bright side, laundry is also one of those tasks that allows you to read a chapter or two between the washing and drying cycles. Multi-tasking as an adult learner is an essential survival skill.
- Grocery shopping. Yes, we all need to eat. Consider this time while you are going back to college as an opportunity for your family to eat those items in the pantry, you know the ones pushed a little further back. However, I would still check the expiration dates. Who knows, you and your family may have a new found love for green beans and a can of cream of mushroom soup. However, don’t skip on your meals. You still need the nourishment for your body and mind to assist in your learning.
- Present shopping and celebrations. Life should be filled with little celebrations, and you don’t want to forget anyone’s special day. Don’t forget the convenience of online shopping. Amazon Prime delivers free in two days. Gift bags are an easy way to make any gift look great. Have a few gift bags and tissue on hand and you can have a gift wrapped as you are walking out of the door. Amazon Prime is not only great for saving time, it is also a great source to purchase textbooks with free shipping. It only takes a few textbooks and your membership before year pays for itself. As an adult learner, you also need to celebrate the little things. Refrigerators are not just for grocery lists and kids projects, they are a place to celebrate your A on that research paper!
- Sleep. I cannot lie, you may get a little less sleep than you’re ordinarily accustomed to receiving. By far, many adult students state that their best and most productive work is done after everyone in their home is in bed or early in the morning when no one is awake. Taking time to sleep and take care of yourself, is important for your academic success.
Being an adult learner is not always easy, but the rewards far outweigh the “not dones” on your to do list. At Northwestern, we walk alongside students in support of their academic pursuits. We admire your diligence and tenacity to improve your life by continuing your education. We are proud of your accomplishments – we’re with you every step of the way! Connect with Kaylyn or Crystal if you're interested in more information about the Northwestern online programs.
For adult students, there can be a big time gap between completing one degree and pursuing the next. Maybe it’s been a while since you’ve been in the academic mode, or maybe you’re continuing right after a semester of classes. Either way, it can take time to adjust to new paper deadlines and adding one more thing to the busy-ness of life. We have found 3 keys to success to creating your personal “class time” - a consistent study time, location, and environment.
Here are 3 tips to help you be successful in your academic goals:
- Set a routine
Develop a routine of studying in the same location, approximate time, and even day. Find where you work best and can feel distraction-free. This doesn’t have to be one sole space, if you can focus at a favorite coffee shop, your kitchen table, or empty classroom, it will establish a routine for motivated work time. You don’t have to pressure yourself to finish everything in one sitting. It can be helpful to break up the class assignment across the whole week with at least one rest day. Some students segment their homework time into 20-minute sections, which means you focus your attention on one item and then take a 5-10 minute break to stand up, go for walk or drink water in between your next 20-minute work session. Be creative with your in-between times. You may have a few minutes during a prep period or work break that you can check discussion questions; this way you can think about your answer on your drive home and be ready for your established study time. An academic routine integrated into daily life will help you meet your goals.
- Create study rules, and follow them
If you sometimes struggle with not feeling productive during your personal class time, set a few ground rules that you stick with. You might make sure you have a comfortable environment in your study area. Make sure you’re not having in back or wrist pain, have good lighting, and all your materials ready before you start. Your study zone might be sitting down with a cup of tea after the kids are in bed. Whatever you decide as your rules set them and stick to them. The structure lends to success.
- Build a support team
Having accountability and support in pursuing your academic goals will help keep you on track. Share your routine and rules with your family, friends, and kids - so they can help you not only stick to it, but it also allows them to assist in creating the positive learning environment. Share with your classroom or co-workers about your academic pursuit. It will create mutual encouragement, and give them an opportunity to share in your accomplishments. What better inspiration than to show you’re always learning too! You may be an inspiration for others to pursue their goals.
At Northwestern, we are your first academic support team. We are here because we want to make a difference in your life and walk alongside you to achieve your academic goals.
Take a look at Northwestern's adult learning programs.
- You’ll be a better teacher. No reason is better than this. You might be a very good classroom teacher, but the coursework in your master’s program will develop your knowledge of trends and issues in your field, improve your bag of tricks for working with students who have different learning needs and behaviors, cultivate your ability to mentor new teachers, contribute to the technology you use for instruction, and teach you how to conduct research in your own classroom that will improve your students’ outcomes. This is a big deal.
- You’ll increase your income. You know your salary schedule; the longer you work and the more college credits you earn, the more money you make. Earning your master’s degree generally moves you two 15-credit lanes. It’s smart to do this early in your career because you’ll reap the benefits for a longer period of time.
- You’ll increase your retirement fund. Every year you teach a percentage of your income is invested for you into a retirement fund. The more you earn, the more your district may contribute toward your retirement. This is another reason earning your master’s degree early in your career is smart.
- You’ll expand your career opportunities. Are you interested in being a teacher leader? Instructional coach? Consultant with the regional education association? Teach at the college level? Work for the state? A master’s degree will be required. Choosing a nonprofit college with a great reputation for your master’s program will make you even more marketable.
- You’ll mark that one off your bucket list. You’ve always wanted one. Two years of your life will pass you by anyway. You could be two years older and be wishing you had started, or you could be two years older and have your master’s degree. Why wait?
If we've convinced you beginning your Master's is the right thing for you, we'd love to help you get started!
Meet the Author
Rebecca is the dean of Northwestern's Graduate School and Adult Learning. She has published in Online Journal of Distance Learning Administration and presented in higher education conferences. Rebecca is teaching Ed Research this semester for the online Master of Education students.
As a wife; mother of four children, two dogs, and countless chickens, she speaks to the challenges and rewards of balancing family, work, school, and life.
Recent Master of Education graduate, Lisa found balance with teaching and taking classes while making her family investment a priority. Enjoy her story about their fun family camping traditions and strategies for adult learning.
Our camping tradition is really rooted in my own childhood experiences. After my parents divorced, my dad joined a group called Parents without Partners (PWP), and they led a lot of family events and activities. One of the events was a family weekend camping trip. My dad bought a tent and some sleeping bags and away we went. Some of my most favorite memories from my childhood are from those camping times with my dad and siblings. Eventually, we upgraded to a pop-up camper. It was a cost efficient vacation for our family of 4 children, and we loved traveling to different camping spots!
Years later, actually, the year I graduated from NWC in 2005 with my undergrad, my husband and I bought a tent, supplies, and began our own tradition. It was just the two of us then. The year after our son was born we upgraded to a pop-up camper, and again to a travel trailer the year I decided to pursue my masters. Oh, the luxuries of camping with a travel trailer AND A/C! It has been a favorite pastime of my family.
Usually, camping is a full extended family experience (my parents, my sisters and their family, and cousins too). I am the “camping queen” to all of them. My sister even bought me a shirt and a tiara to go with it. We plan menus for the whole weekend to help cut down on cost for each family and then we cook and eat as a big family. My husband is the “camp chef” and does an awesome job cooking over an open fire.
Enjoying Summer and Taking Classes
Taking summer courses and enjoying the summer has definitely been possible. I either stayed up late during the week to have my coursework completed before we went camping or used my mobile hotspot to log in at the campground. I also did a lot of work when my son took part in summer programs too. I would drop him off and then go find a place to do coursework until it was time to pick him up. It makes a big difference that I have summer vacation from teaching. I would go to his ballgames and then come home and do homework when the family was in bed. I also downloaded the Blackboard app on my smartphone, so in route to events, I could respond to discussions.
Balance and Efficiency
At times it has been a struggle to find balance while pursuing my master’s degree. I only have one child; I can’t imagine how the juggling is with more than one. The first semester was the hardest find a routine and balance. Once I had a routine and planned what I was going to do each day then it became a bit easier. I have a certain task I try to do each day and then use the weekends to get most things finished. I also give myself one day a week off from any coursework. Thursdays are my day to get home from work and I do not even look at my courses. I give myself permission to veg and watch my TV shows. I believe that is important. Many times, I have stayed up after my family has gone to bed to finish classwork. There are also breaks between semester sessions that are a blessing. They give us family time to come back together and refresh. We try to plan ahead for major events so I can get my work started earlier. The professors are always willing to work with you. I am extremely grateful for their understanding on the importance of time with family.
A Support System is Key
Working toward your master’s isn’t an easy endeavor to take on without the support of family and friends. It is important to have a network of people you can rely on and help when things get overwhelming. My husband has really had to step up helping with meals, laundry, and taking our son on father/son outings so I could have time to work quietly. I heard from many friends and colleagues who said they had regretted not pursuing their master’s degree. I didn’t want to look back on my own life and wonder “what if.” So I say, “just do it!”
The 2017 Northwestern College commencement ceremony was certainly one for the archives. For the first time since 1996, Master of Educations students walked across the graduation stage. Although preceded by two graduate cohorts, these students collectively marked Northwestern history as the first Master’s students to complete their advanced degree entirely online. Forty-six Master of Education students and four RN to BSN program graduates earning their Bachelors of Science in Nursing completed their Northwestern degrees online this year. As online programs increasingly grow in availability and popularity, Northwestern seeks to serve working professionals with quality continuing education opportunities rooted in faith and community.
Building online programs that encourage working students to develop relationships with fellow students and faculty without meeting face-to-face or even online at the same time is not an easy task. It takes a common purpose and a lot of dedication for students and faculty to have the best experience. In observing the commencement ceremony and reception, it was obvious how impactful these online programs are in the lives of both students and staff. Their touch points had remained on either side of computer screens until the celebration, which allowed faculty to finally meet their student’s newborn or hug their student who battled and beat heart surgery. For all – it was more than celebrating academic accomplishments but acknowledging life’s journey.
“We [the Graduate School and Adult Learning faculty and staff] were ecstatic to meet the graduates who attended graduation. The online environment at NWC allows faculty to get to know these students so personally, however, the opportunity to give them a hug and see their joy in being hooded was unforgettable. In addition, the reception after the ceremony was an awesome time to spend with our graduates and their families while honoring their accomplishment, “said Master of Education Director Sara Waring-Tiedeman.
As President Greg Christy encourages all graduates, “Northwestern has been part of God’s will for your life, and I pray what you learned here enables you to eagerly and skillfully respond to God’s call in your work, faith and family life.” Northwestern College is now an influence for student eighteen years of age or fifty-five, but regardless empowering them to follow Christ and pursue God’s redeeming work in the world.
For two years, I spent my spring break serving on a Spring Service Project working with a ministry called Hope for Opelousas. This ministry works with students hailing from St. Landry’s Parish, the poorest school district in the state.
My first year, I walked into Opelousas Junior High, wide-eyed and ready to change the world. What I didn’t realize was how complicated building relationships would be. I spent the week working with students, tutoring HFO kids, and connecting with members of the community. But when I left, I still felt unsure. I didn’t know whether I’d made my impact or helped anyone. In fact, it had felt as though the people of Louisiana had changed me more than I had changed them.
Fast forward to the spring of my junior year. After not feeling as though I had done enough, I decided to sign up to return to Opelousas a second year. This year, I knew I’d make a difference. After joining together with my team of 19 other individuals, I was awestruck by the wonderful people I’d be embarking on this journey with. But when we got down to Opelousas a second time, I realized I wasn’t there to change the world. I was there just to show I care and love people deeply.
I spent three days serving in Opelousas Junior High once again, walking alongside a new teacher who had just finished her training and walked into a messy classroom of students mid-year. She was worn down from trying to take control of a group of students she’d never worked with before. However, the characteristic I kept seeing shine through this teacher was her love and deep desire to help these students.
The days I wasn’t serving in the school, I helped scrape and prime a house to be painted. We also cleaned out a storage area for a local organization that offered extracurricular activities for students in the area. While standing around and cleaning all day may not sound like a treat, spending time with the wonderful people of Opelousas and Northwestern certainly was, and seeing the excitement of everyone as the house was closer to completion definitely made the days worth it.
Perhaps the best part of the whole experience was serving a student named Landon. Landon was a 7 th grader who attended one of my classes at Opelousas Junior High. After school, I had the opportunity to work alongside him and tutor him through HFO. Watching this student work to the best of his abilities to make his mother proud was phenomenal.
It was here that I learned that I wasn’t there to change peoples’ lives. Instead, I was there to love, and that was enough. After all, just like Hope for Opelousas’ mission statement says, “Love changes everything.”
Meet the Author
Nicole is an English Teaching major at Northwestern. She serves as the Blog Coordinator and writing tutor for the Graduate School and Adult Learning. As a writing tutor, she is already preparing for her teaching career. Nicole will graduate May 2017 and serve as the 10th grade english teacher at MOC-FV in Orange City.
Nicole also has a passion for social justice and young adult literature.