When Good Things Happen to People We Love
Recently I heard a sermon about rejoicing with those who rejoice and weeping with those who weep (Romans 12:15). My fear of missing out (FOMO) spikes when I see social media posts of my vacationing friends and this was a good sermon for me to ponder. It is a lesson I have tried to teach my own kids in my own house. Among my six kids, there hasn’t always joy when one kid gets to choose the breakfast cereal or sadness when one kid gets hurt on the new skateboard.
I enjoy visiting with new teachers and recently I had a conversation about classroom management with a new elementary teacher. He has a large and busy class. He was telling me that behavior management has been the biggest challenge for him. The behavior exhibited by one child is particularly concerning. This child often thinks he gets the short end of the stick or another child is the teacher’s favorite. He complains that others get better seats, more time, a better deal in general. He disrupts the class often.
The teacher told me about the interventions he was trying. He had given the child frequent breaks; preferential seating, including a standing desk; fidgets; a handheld gaming device to take on the bus. I thought that his plan sounded good. At the end of the conversation though, the young teacher asked, “What will the other kids think of him being rewarded for his behavior? Won’t they want to act like that too?”
The question stopped me up short. Did the accommodations seem like a reward? Would the other kids in the class begin to act out so they too could have their behavior “rewarded”?
What do you all think? I know behavior can be contagious, but I do not think that kids without behavior issues will start misbehaving to see if they too can have accommodations. Will all of the kids want fidgets? Perhaps. Will all the kids need fidgets? Probably not. Teaching positive behaviors is difficult for all of us, especially for new teachers.
I taught my own kids a little song when they were little. I sang, “When good things happen to people we love we are…and then I would point to them and they would say GLAD!” We would continue by saying, “When bad things happen to people we love, we are SAD!” My goal was to teach them to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. I hope that teachers can do that too. Can we create communities where we all want the best for all kids in the class?
Tell us what you think!
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Teaching positive behaviors is difficult for all of us, especially for new teachers.
— NWC Grad & Online (@NWCOnline) February 15, 2021
How do we create communities where we all want what's best for all in the class; what do you think? @heits1 https://t.co/pUgmMURcGC
About the Author
Dr. Heitritter currently serves as a special education strategist with the Northwest AEA. Prior to her retirement from Northwestern, she served in many full-time roles including department chair, licensure official, and professor of undergraduate and graduate education courses. Before joining Northwestern's education department, Dr. Heitritter served as a language arts consultant and taught at both public and Christian elementary schools.
